I no longer know what silence is

As I have this condition called tinnitus

It makes my ears ringing when it’s quiet

But I know silence is the language of the ghosts

Ghosts apparate in many shapes

Like the one,

I met beside my bed (is a child)

He told me what silence is like

With no sound, no syllables, no words, no sentences

The ringing,

Violent noise (in my ears)

Muted by the language of the ghost

Silence embraced me

In warm comfort

Without realizing,

I fell in love with the ghost

In comfortable silence

—

This is my relationship with a ghost

A ghost who speaks in silence

Because that is the only language he knows

I, who suffer from tinnitus

In a soundless relationship

Found peace

But also got leashed

Each time I blurted out my emotion

He said,

Hush

Each time I need consolation

He said,

Hush

Each time I asked questions,

He answered,

Hush

Why?

Hush

It’s useless searching for answers

Because

Hush

Took me into a dark vacuum space

Had me no chance to voice any frequency

Ultimately tied my vocal chord

But I eventually grasped

Silence is also an answer

—

I know that,

The ghost used silence as a wall to protect his vulnerability

The ghost disguised his manipulation as silence

The ghost silenced my words to keep him in power

Then I discovered,

The ghostchild that I fell in love with

Had a voiceless life

As his father taught him

The language of silence

In the end, I know silence is as violent as my tinnitus

—

Silence is a language

Sometimes, a malevolent one

A weapon to suppress

Forbid one to express

So don’t be deceived

By the language of the ghosts

Because I know I’m not the only victim

Of ghosting